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22 November 2010 @ 10:30 pm
November 21st, 2010
9:45 p.m.

I've been packing for a couple of days now, slipping further into my reclusive behaviour. Normally I leave my packing to the last minute, getting it all done the night before I leave. But that's usually when I'm coming back in a few days. This time, I don't know when I'm coming back... If ever. So picking the appropriate things to throw in one suitcase is really difficult. I haven't told anyone about my trip. Not my parents, my school or my friends. I gave two weeks notice to my resignation at work, hopefully I'll be able to work at the same place when I get there.

I've been thinking about this for a long time, I even told my best friend about my plan back in mid-November. He quickly dismissed it as a stupid idea. Sure, it may be stupid. But is it any worse than how people here live? Constantly wishing they were somewhere else, but too scared to actually go through with it. I guess you could say I'm running away. You could also say I'm being selfish. I am.

November 22nd, 2010
6:15 a.m.

I've always hated... and I mean HATED taking the bus. But leaving my car behind is a sacrifice I know I had to make. I'll probably barely afford to live, let alone own a car as well. Plus, Amanda really needs a new vehicle and as long as she can learn to drive standard, it will be a good vehicle for her.

So because of this, I will be travelling to Calgary ala Greyhound. From there, my flight leaves connecting at Pearson before arriving at O'Hare. I'm terrified. But all the best things in life start out like that, right?

November 22nd, 2010
8:00 a.m.

I've just now passed into the city limits. Its really cold today, which makes me worry about what its going to be like in Chicago. I'm starting to think that my city choice was a bad thing. Calgary looks somewhat beautiful from the bus window. I remember coming over this hill, seeing the skyline off in the distance when I was a little kid. I used to think the drive here took so long, now it seems like only a short commute. This is the last time I'm going to see this city, at least for a while.

November 22, 2010
9:55 a.m.

Sitting in the Terminal now. I filmed a video with my phone yesterday, saying a short gooodbye, letting people know how they can contact me. I didn't specifically say where I'm going, only that I'll be staying in North America. I'm going to post it to YouTube before I have to board.
I just realized I've had my phone turned off all morning. Just turned it on to find a couple of missed texts. Nothing really. In some feeling of self-worth I expected to find more than that. Oh well.

November 22nd, 2010
2:00 p.m.
I'm now in the terminal at Pearson. There's a huge "Welcome to Toronto" sign when you get off the plane. I remember how excited I was when I visited Toronto last year and saw that sign. Now I 'm excited because it means I'm that much further from home. Flight is boarding soon, gotta go. My stomach is turning like you wouldn't believe.

I'm really starting to feel like an asshole. I'm worried that ontop of dealing with other family problems, my mom will have to now deal with all the stuff I left behind. On the other hand, no more burdensome 21 year old to deal with.

November 22nd, 2010
6:00 p.m.

For the first time this entire trip, I've started to feel happy. Seeing this view shows me that there is a new city, with new people for me to embark on. It also shows me that Chicago will be fucking cold.

Even the airport is beautiful. When I stepped off the plane into arrivals, I was stunned at how unique it looked.

I'm going to get a cab, and head downtown. Hopefully I can locate a Hostel or something.

I just want to see what I've gotten myself into. See if this city is as beautiful as they say it is.

November 22nd, 2010
10:00 p.m.

It really is...

Looked at my phone again. One text from a friend:

"Hey, are you up to anything tonight?"

"Yeah, I'm changing my life."
Current Location: Chicago, Illinois